Awkward Adventures
by Escerptine
Summary: Lovino is helplessly awkward. Awkward in every sense of the word. He's convinced that life is terrible, pointless and has nothing to offer. Till, of course, he meets someone who teaches him about, life, love and... well, awkwardness.
1. Chapter 1

Hi!

...

So, I was walking to-

Oh, you wanted me to introduce myself? Oh, fine, fine. I'm Lovino, and my favorite color is tomato. Yeah, as you probably know from my previous greeting, I'm awkward. I'm awkward, my life's awkward, everything is awkward. I mean, even the word awkward is... awkward. Try it. A-W-K-W-A-R-D. See?

To me, life is basically a compilation of cringe-inducing awkward moments. Since an early age, I'd mispronounce suck to fuck, reply with 'you too' to the wrong questions, and manage to make an ass out of myself in every opportunity I've come across. Think your life is shit? Well here's a rude awakening. Life = shit.

I don't know, it's weird. Shit can be used to describe the worst of things, and the best. "Oh my god I look _like_ shit!" Is one way to use the word, meaning it in a negative way. "Oh my god this song's _the_ shit!" is another, implying that the song is of a very high quality. Okay, what? When did people decide this?

...

Oh yeah, feel free to stop me if I get that way. Oh, by 'that way' I mean, ranting about the most stupid stuff ever. Yeah I kind of do that a lot, so sorry for the future and stuff. Yeah sorry. Where was I? Oh yeah, my life.

Ever since birth (literally, since I was coming out the wrong way, they had to do some elaborate stuff to get me out) my life hasn't gone the way I'd planned. I wanted to get good grades, but schools a bitch. I wanted to get a pretty girlfriend, whoops! I'm gay as fuck! I wanted a cool family but life decided to give me a stupid brother and embarrassing parents. Yeah, don't know how to end this...

But the bright side?

Haha, fuck the bright side, all I see is closed shades, closed opportunities, and a closed life. Yeah, sorry.

Don't trust me to make up metaphors.

So you get it right? My life sucks, I suck, and now school is going to begin to suck. Not that it hasn't before this, I was just trying to fit the flow of the last sentence, I mean, school always sucked, but now it's going to start to suck even more. If that's possible, that is. I hope not, because school has just been really, really... sucky.

I kind of wonder how suck has become a negative thing. I mean, what's so bad about sucking? And why so people insult each other by saying 'Go suck a dick!' 'Cocksucker!' Because, believe me, if there were dick to suck, I'd probably be doing it right now, thank you very much. No honestly, thank you.

So when you accidentally get off the wrong bus stop and have to run to school, and find you have completely ruined your clothes with sweat, your hair with sweat, and your... something with sweat( again, just following the flow) is it even worth fixing yourself up? I mean, no matter what, people will always judge you from your looks and there's practically nothing you can do about it, so why even bother? I mean, girls. If you wear really short, revealing clothes, people will call you a slut and tell you to 'pull up your shirt!' 'Have some self-respect!'. But if you wear modest clothes, people will call you other hurtful things, and tell you to show more skin. I mean, really? There's no damn solution now is there? Like, life provides you this ironic, unanswerable questions and expects you to figure 'em all out in time for your birth, wedding and funeral.

So here we go... Let's start from the right tense this time.

* * *

Hi there. This story will only be updated if I get some interest in it.

I'm pretty depressed right now, because my favorite band broke up, so I thought writing fanfiction would cheer me up and/or distract me from my heartbreak.

Hope you like?


	2. Chapter 2

School had never been easy for me. The constant struggle to remain between a C and an A, tedious tests, annoying asshole teachers... and the social aspects of it all. Friends, enemies, boyfriends, girlfriends, ect. All for what? I mean, I'm leaving this school in two years. Why should I make myself appeal to these stupid, judgmental teenagers? As soon as I turn eighteen, I'm getting the hell away from this washed-up town.

I walk quickly, and trail of sticky sweat finds itself to the back of my neck. I sigh as the school becomes nearer in view. Yeah, I missed the bus. Big deal. It was only a fifteen minute*cough thirty cough* walk from my house. And no one gives a damn if I'm late. And I hate running. I may look really damn stupid fast-walking like a duck, but it's better than running. I was never the sporty type. Occasionally I'll agree to a nice soccer game, but that's about it.

I take the stairs two at a time and hurry to homeroom. I open the cold metal door quietly and slip into my seat. As usual, no one notices. I'm practically invisible, which can either be taken as a very, very good thing, or a really, really bad thing. It's all in how you take it. Our teacher rambles on about staff meetings and other teacher bullshit. Why should I put up with this? Well, I have to, and I can't exactly speak up about it in fear of looking like a complete idiot/asshole/fucktard/whatever other insults people use these days. I don't really care as long as they don't call me them.

After a good ten minutes, the shrill ringing of a bell dismisses the class. I exhale sharply as I exit the room, my patience already at zero. My tolerance for school has already disappeared and it's only been one damn period. Is homeroom counted as a whole period? Whatever, that's not the point. The point is, as long as I'm in school, life's shitty. The only thing, as I might've mentioned before, that I'm ever looking forward to, the only thing I keep living for, is the tiny, tiny chance that maybe, one day (okay that's a lot of ?) I'llownarestaurantofmyown. Yeah, this guy? He wants to own his own restaurant. A nice, cozy little place that has rainy weather and lots of people. That's my dream. Don't make fun of me. Hey! It's... It's not funny.

I head through the door of my next class, Algebra 2. Don't get me wrong, I hate school, but math is okay. I have a secret talent for logic-related stuff. So I passed with flying colors in Geometry last year(flying colors? what a weird idiom). I got that shit. The teacher passed out some papers and we set off. Mostly review and stuff. Okay. Let's try the first problem._ 1. Solve 4x+8=28 _Pfft, I can do this shit in my sleep. I scribble x=5 next to the problem. I smirk as I move on to the next problem. Let's see...

_2. f(x)=0.2x-7_

_a. Find an inverse of the function_

_b. Graph it and it's inverse. Tell __whether or not the inverse of the given function is a function._

Okay... Nope. Nooo. No. Hell no. Fuck no, I ain't doing this bullshit. I mean, aren't we supposed to learn it over the course of the year? I mean, seriously? I sink in my seat, the uncomfortable plastic seat. And my spirits sink even lower. When am I ever going to use this in the future? Oh yeah! When I'm cooking sauce in the kitchen I'll be graphing parabolas! I knew I'd need math!

I was kidding, if you couldn't tell. (you probably could.)

The period drags on and on. I chew my lip in frustration. I make up answers and do my best. My best being completely nothing. The girl next to me has an expression similar to mine, so I relax a little. She looks up from her paper, and mouths the word 'help'. She looks terrified, her green eyes close to tears. She's pretty cute I guess. I dunno. I show her my paper and she scans it quickly and nods her head. She writes something at the top of the corner and shoves it back at me, probably because the teacher is glaring at us. I read it: 'I'm glad I'm not the only one' and I laugh. The bell, thank fuck, rings, causing me to spring up from my seat and head out the door.

I start running a little, a small smile present on my face. I'm so happy that stupid class is over. Fifty minutes of torture, pure torture. I stare at the linoleum squares as I walk, and my vans poking out from my legs. They have a white stain on them, because I spilled paint on them. Oh did I mention I'm clumsy? Not the 'cute' clumsy, like my brother, more the disastrous type. Here's an example right now. I, not focusing at all where I'm going, run into some dude in a red shirt with the top of my head.

"Tomato?" I blurt as I stumble backward. My face immediately goes red. Tomato? Really? Are you that awkward?

The dude chuckles and pats me on the back.

"Oh! I'm sorry, didn't see you there! You okay, little guy?" he says. I freeze.

Oh my God this guy is fuckin' hot.

* * *

I'm still pretty depressed, but here you go.

I listened to Demolition Lovers the whole time I was writing this. It's literally the best song ever.

Also, I got tickets to see Pierce the Veil and All Time Low so I got cheered up a little.

Hope this chapter meets your standards, whoever is reading this :)

And if you are, thank you. You're helping me through this.


	3. Chapter 3

Oh my God this guy is fuckin' hot.

I back up a little, my face scrunching up and my eyes widening in surprise. An alarm seems to ring in my ears as I notice everyone staring. My heart starts throbbing violently and my muscles seem to stop working and I notice that the hallway goes eerily quiet.

"Did you just say tomato?" he asks, smiling widely and keeping his eyes firmly fixed on me, an action that had always made me very uncomfortable. Ever since I can remember, new people that stare are the worst. It feels like they're judging you, hateful comments, rude remarks, and disgusted glares. I've always had the worst time meeting new people because of this. You have no idea what the hell is going in their head, what they're thinking about you, and that's just plain scary. Ever feel that way?

My jaw seems stapled shut, but I manage to open it, my brain scrambling to form a germane response. It's hard, considering that a very attractive guy is staring me down. But I manage, even if it's half-assed.

"Seah, I'm yorry" The words tumble out before I have a chance to double-check them.

Shit. Fuck. Damn.

Laughter erupts throughout the mildly crowded hall as my brain panics, replaying my awkwardness over and over for myself to worsen each time. A normal person would've just corrected themselves, but me, oh no. I take small shit like this to my grave.

I clutch the hem of my jacket with my sweaty palms and wish to disappear. Or to never exist. Or to just fucking explode. And he just keeps staring with his pretty green eyes. As the laughter seems to become more and more painful, I quickly turn on my heels and head the opposite direction, forgetting about all the classes and teachers still left. I still keep my eyes concentrated on the linoleum squares, the boring, dirty linoleum squares, only this time, my head is spinning and I feel numb. My knees are shaking and I can feel tears brim in my eyes and my face is unbearably hot. So unbearably hot that I barely even notice the small salty drops that pour down my face. I really wish I didn't have social anxiety. And I really wish I wasn't me.

My ears still ringing, I open the door to the room nearest to me, which happens to be a nice, empty supplies closet. Cliche hiding place, but who am I to complain. I drop my stuff next to an enormously large bottle of Windex and choke out a sob. My nerves tense as I remember that I forgot to shut the door. I rush to close it, swiftly pulling the wooden frame (most supplies closets don't have door handles)towards myself. I hear a thunk, and notice it didn't close. I try again, hearing a muffled grunt this time. That's weird. This better be not be a fucking broken door or I swear I'm gonna-I don't know- dump the contents of this whole closet down the drain. I look down. Something seems to be keeping the door from closing. There's a shoe holding it open. And guess who enters? The god fucking shit damn hot guy.

* * *

Sorry. Short chapter this time. Why?

Because I'm going through some tough shit.

But please enjoy. I promise the next chapter will be longer and I will **_ DEFINITELY  _**include more Spain and more fluff and whatever else you like.


	4. Chapter 4

He steps in, a small victorious grin smoothly covering his features. I quickly hurry and dry my cheeks with my sleeve, then take a breath.

"What the fuck do you want?" I spit, my face becoming hard. He doesn't look taken aback, but his smile subsides. He takes a moment to think, his eyebrows drawing together and his eyes becoming focused and narrowed. He scratches his head and bites his lip. I stare as he thinks. It seems to take a lot of time, so I occupy myself by watching cleaner drip from a miscellaneous bottle. My eyes travel back to him, but to my dismay, he's still deep in thought. "I said, what the fuck do you want?" I poke him and he snaps back to attention. His smile returns and he giggles, an action that amplifies his boyish features.

"I... I really don't know, but I just wanted to follow you." his voice is light and airy and he gesticulates. I pause for a moment, processing what he just said. I guess I'm so nervous that it takes longer than usual to take in a sentence. It still doesn't really answer my question, and having this dude with me in the close wasn't planned. I open my mouth to speak, but before I can, the click of the door silences me. Shit.

I push him out of the way and grasp the handle. I shake it desperately but it's locked. Oh shit were locked in. Locked in. In a danky-ass supplies closet. With a hot dude that's ... I don't know... hot.

My eyes widen in horror, and my mouth feels like it's filled with glue. I swallow, and choke out a small laugh. "Haha... Ha. We're locked in..." I turn around to face him, finding that he had already found a comfortable spot next to an old broom. I slowly sit down opposite him, the classes I'm missing barely crossing my mind, just focusing on our current predicament. So now what?

I look across from me and he's returning my stare. I hastily look away as I feel my face heat up. And we spend the next few moments in dead silence, only accompanied by the occasional rustle of clothes or shoes. It's probably the most uncomfortable situation I've ever found myself in. Which is really saying something, too. Because I've been through a lot of uncomfortable. Okay, this is getting a little unbearable. I should say something. I should. Um... What should I say? Uh... I should-

"Oh yes, what's your name?," I hear. I make sure to look anywhere but his face. I reply a little too quickly.

"Why do you need to know?" I grunt, exhaling in exasperation. I hear a small giggle.

"Well, since I am going to spend the rest of this day in a closet with you, I'd like to know your name. Also, because maybe we should be friends?" the question seems so childish, like something a four-year-old would ask. Funny how I've never been asked that question in my life.

"Well that's dumb..." I mumble, and I see his face fall. Seeing it makes my heart drop in my chest.( like literally, it feels so heavy). His sad face is like worse than a kicked puppy, it's like.. like indescribably sad. I can't even put it into words. So naturally, I feel guilty.

"Oh, I, uh... Sorry, I just... Well my name's Lovino, okay?..." I say quickly, forcing my tongue not to trip over itself. Out of the corner of my eye I see his face perk up. (insert another puppy comparison here.)

"Oh that's great! You must be Italian or something, right? That's, like, so cool! I'm actually Spanish, like from Spain, so it's pretty cool. Oh yes, my name is Atnonio, oops. I mean- I mean, Anotnion, oh not again. Sorry! An-to-ni-o!" and after talking so hurriedly, he proceeds to erupt into giggles. I stare and sigh. What a weirdo.

He finishes laughing, and clutches his stomach. "Sorry, I just... I'm just so awkward when I talk to cute guys..."

The FUCK?!

Cute? Oh fuck no. I'm the opposite of fucking cute. I'm just... I dunno, me. Nothing special at all. Except for my awkwardness, I should seriously win an award for that shit, because it's the worst. "You're not funny, okay? And you're not awkward either. You wouldn't know awkwardness if it bit you in the ass..." he giggles another one of his annoyingly attractive giggles. "Um, I always say to everyone that my favorite color is tomato." he replies, and my jaw drops.

"You're not serious are you?" he sighs and rubs his neck.

"Yeah I'm serious..."

"Holy fuck me too!" he springs up, and scrambles over to where I'm sitting.

"No fucking way!" I smile a little too brightly.

"Yeah, because I've always thought that, like, tomato is a COMPLETELY different color from red, because it just is. Like, red just doesn't cut it for me, and- and- just tomato... is like the only thing that fits my description of my favorite color." he nods his head excessively as I give my explanation.

"Yeah! And afterwards, everyone always tells me 'you mean red?' and no, I do not mean red. I mean tomato, goddamit!" and suddenly were laughing together like old friends. It's nice to let go occasionally, and I've never met someone who's ever felt the same about this topic.

"I guess we're both really awkward then..." I say as I finish laughing, my gut feeling like it could split open. He nods. "The funny thing is, most people just classify my awkward as being happy-go-lucky. I guess it's probably because I am." and I just grumble. "Most people classify my awkward as the what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-you type of awkward." and I look away, because it's true. When most people first meet me, they initially think 'what the fuck is wrong with you?' because I'm weird and grumpy. And I guess it's just kind of depressing, you know?.

"But that's wrong. I think your awkward is super cute and stuff!" he exclaims, his arms spreading out and knocking down a couple of bottles. I curl my knees up to my chest, feeling very uncomfortable, really wanting to escape from this damn closet. But then again, school sucks just as much as being stuck in the closet with this guy...

So what now? We only have, like, five hours of school left and-

Oh.

Hi there, janitor.

* * *

So yeah. I'm getting through personal problems with music, so here's a few recommendations for people who need 'em.

1. .Com Pt. II - **Motionless in White**. Seriously one of my favorites ever.

2. The Boy Who Could Fly-** Pierce the Veil**.

3. Desert Song- **My Chemical Romance** - the band that broke up

4. Sleepwalking- **Bring Me the Horizon**. This one is beautiful.

5. A Candlelit Dinner with Inamorta- **Asking Alexandria**.This song just makes me want to fuckin dance!


	5. Chapter 5

As if on some sort of comedic cue, the janitor stepped in, a look of honest shock washing over his middle-aged features. Hey, I'd be pretty shocked too if there were a couple of dumb teenagers in my closet.

By the way he was scowling, I could tell he was also pissed off that said teenagers were in his closet. His eyes were dull and empty looking, but still fiery with rage. His janitor's uniform was dirty and a copious amount of stains were scattered throughout its rough fabric. The sleeves were pushed halfway up his heavily tattooed arms, which he held crisscrossed over his chest. And the tattoos were pretty badass. Okay, now is not the time to focus on that, but whatever, I'm trying to set a descriptive setting and shit.

"Get out and come with me." His voice came out scratchy and rough, fitting the rest of his appearance. I sent Antonio a worried look, and he mirrored it, scrambling to his feet. I mean, despite how nervous I was, it's not that bad. At least we weren't, like, I dunno, setting the room on fire or something. So I quickly pulled myself to my feet, and left the chemical scented closet.

Okay, yeah, I get a little paranoid. I had never really gotten in really bad trouble before. But I've definitely been in deep shit before, just not really deep shit, you know? Like, maybe knee-deep, not yet covering my head to the point where I'm drowning. Sorry. That was kinda weird. Okay, let me continue. I'm a good kid I guess, I just sometimes make the wrong decisions, act dumb,, and break stuff. Breaking stuff is the worst. I once broke my grandpa's favorite antique vase thing way back when, and he punished me by locking me in the attic for the rest of the day. What's so bad about the attic, you ask? Well that attic had the creepiest shit you could possibly imagine. From the dysfunctional light bulb to the deposit of my mother's old beheaded barbie dolls, it was hell for my seven-year-old self.(If you're interested, I spent the entire time pissing myself in the corner)

So you can probably imagine how anxious I was walking down the too-bright hallway next to Antonio, who was flicking lint off his jeans, probably one of his nervous habits. The janitor led us to the administrations office, another name for the fabled 'principal's office' where he told us to wait. It smelled like cheap febreeze and hand sanitizer. It's the first fuckin day, I better not get detention, but that's unlikely. I was just skipping class.

Antonio leaned over. "Sorry." he whispered in my ear, sending pleasant shivers crawling down my spine. I coughed awkwardly, feeling my face go red, that annoying habit of mine that (no matter how hard I practice) never goes away. The principal called us in, and told us to sit in the two chairs set up for us. We obliged with straight faces.

His office was empty, probably because the school year just started. Minimal designs were spread everywhere. A small calendar on the wall and a few photos were the only striking images the office had to present. It felt uncomfortable.

"Your names, please?" asked the principal, eyes glued to his computer screen. Antonio cleared his throat.

"I'm..." he took a deep breath in an attempt to slow himself down." An-to-ni-o Fernandez Carriedo, and this is Lovino, um-" I cut him off sharply, my voice coming out squeaky.

"Vargas"

He typed our names into his computer and stared at the results for a couple of moments. I watched his face mellow out.

"You were on the soccer team." he said, snapping his head towards Antonio, who nodded excitedly. "In fact, you were the one who helped us win last year's tournament!" he smiled enthusiastically

"Yes that's me!" said Antonio, his green eyes glowing with pride. And then he turned his attention towards me, his eyes meeting mine, an action that caused my heart to stop. Wow those are really, really nice eyes. I was transfixed by them, something I'm definitely embarrassed about. They're just some dumb eyes! What the fuck is wrong with me?

The principal glanced back at his computer, and his smile disappeared.

"You're honor roll." he said simply, his expression not as enthusiastic as before. I nodded curtly and grunted. He leaned back in his seat, took a breath and raked a hand through his messy hair.

"Look, kids. It's the first damn day of school, and you're already skipping class. I don't want it to become a habit, either." he sighed. "Come on, you're better than this... Promise me no more supplies closet skipping, okay?" Antonio was quick to defend. "Excuse me sir, but, Lovino tripped and fell into the closet, and so I went in to help him but, but the door closed and- well, you probably didn't know this, but the supplies closets at this school don't have handles on the inside, so you can probably see why getting out of the closet was a hard thing to do. And so it really wasn't our fault. Let's just blame it on the door handle." he concluded, nodding his head as a means of finish.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I was being clumsy" I said through gritted teeth. And after another couple of minutes of scolding, he let us go. And Antonio and I head in opposite directions, not even parting with any words.

* * *

And that was the last time I ever saw Antonio for a few months.

It's not that I intended it to happen, it just sort of... did. He's a junior, I'm not. We have separate schedules, so we'd never see each other in class. And I made it my top priority to stay away from the hallway where the whole accident happened. So yeah, not intentional at all. And, no, I'm not implying that I would ever want to see him ever again. I don't. I just-

Okay, I just can't stop thinking about him. And I'm too scared to go talk to him. And I guess if I had the guts I would, but sadly I don't, so you see my problem now. Not to mention, it would be pretty out-of-the-blue to go and talk to him now, because we met back on the first day of school, and now we're already in mid-November. That's about three months of lonely torture without any relief. And so now I'm just waiting for something to happen. I don't really know yet. It's kind of a weird feeling. It's like you know exactly what's going to happen, but you have no idea what it is, when it's gonna happen and why you're even anticipating it in the first place. Yeah I know I sound crazy, just- just go with it.

And now I guess I'll just wait till we meet again.

So now I'm walking through the hallway on my way to third period, my usual routine of staring relentlessly at the passing linoleum squares. Every day is practically the same for me. Go to school, feel like shit, come home, feel like shit, and feel like shit all over again. It's a neverending cycle of feeling like a complete piece of motherfucking shit. And I'm getting pretty tired of it, too. But sadly, I never take any initiative to change it. I guess I'm just too anxious, scared and lazy to really try to control my life. And maybe a part of me enjoys feeling like this, numb.

I start walking faster, at an angrier pace, my fists clenching unintentionally as my face becomes brooding. I'm sick of this, some thing really needs to change.

And right at that moment, my shoulder collided with someone else's. I turned back to apologize, my eyes meeting a pair of bright green eyes. Despite what you were probably thinking, they belonged to a familiar female. Oh yeah! She's in my math. The girl who's probably failing right now, judging my the way she clutched her graded paper, a large, looming F frowning at us from the top of the paper.

"Sorry" she said daintily, her eyelashes fluttering. I cleared my throat.

"Oh yeah it was my fault, sorry..." she giggled, taking note of my awkwardness. "Walk with me." she said, more of a command than a question, but I did as she told me to, her two friends dropping behind us and giving us room to talk, an action that confused me a little.

"I never got your name." she said, giving me a nice, small, girly smile. "It's Lovino..." I said, desperate to look anywhere but her eyes, so I settled for the floor.

"Oh you're name's so pretty sounding! Mine's Bella."

We walked to her class, chatting about nothing in particular. As soon as we reached the room, I said goodbye. She waved as I sped down the hallway towards my next class. I didn't really know what to feel about her yet. For now she's just the dumb girl in my math class. And truthfully, I don't know if I can let anyone else occupy my mind right now. Not enough space.

* * *

There are only two things I have to say about the story:

1. Good things come to those who wait.

2. Thank you all so much for the reviews, favorites, follows and the PMs! Really. I feel so special. :) Keep 'em coming, if you will.

Also, is anyone else attending Spring Fever?

And is anyone going to Warped?(please please please)

Sorry, I realize that everyone probably goes to cons, not rock concerts, but I'd love to meet up with someone!

Hope you liked the chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

Oh yeah. The rating of the story is T for now, but it will go up eventually.

* * *

I think I'm overthinking this. I think. Because maybe I want this, maybe I want that. I just don't know any more, and the more I think about it, the more it confuses me and- just- fuck. There's no logical way to even think about it, 'cause it just gets worse and worse and my judgement just gets cloudier until I just want to rip my hair out and scream. I'm in a pretty tough predicament right now and it's just frustrating, okay?

Because, quite to my surprise, Bella turned out to have a totally kickass personality and stuff. Hey, she likes food, I like food, it kinda works out okay. But here's the thing. She's just not... y'know... Antonio (There. I said it). Honestly that takes guts to admit to yourself. And at first, I never thought about comparing the two, because it just seemed so obscure, but now I find myself doing it often. Comparing every small detail and action between the two. It's like I really, really want Bella to become equal with Antonio. But it just doesn't work that way. Now here's the actual problem. Should I settle for something I can easily have, or the better thing that I will never ever get? Let me put it differently. If you could pick between a free spoon of plain vanilla ice cream, or an expensive, really totally orgasmic pound of chocolate, which would you pick? Seems like a really simple answer but it's just too complicated.

So you know what? I'm obviously not getting anywhere just deliberating everything, I'll just wait it out and hope it figures itself out.

Its a nice thought, though it's practically intangible.

Now of course all this information has to fit in somewhere. Sorry, I should probably give you some context, as much as I really hate to. So here we are now. School. The place parents trust, teachers don't and a place that virtually everyone hates. The place we spend our entire childhood and adolescence. Where we waste all our precious, irreplaceable time. So many memories are shared here, some we remember, some we wish we don't, and some we've forgotten through all the drama, loneliness and stress. And for those unusually lucky motherfuckers whose life is just a pocketful of motherfuckin' sunshine, school is a nice place that you go to with your friends. And last of all, school is a place where we learn completely useless shit that we'll never need to know. No, seriously, when am I gonna need to use the pythagorean theorem? In this day and age, practically everything is calculated using computers.

Okay, now that I've expressed my opinion, let's move on. School. At it. School. At school. Sorry, I'm just a little distracted right now as I've tried to explain. Now I'm distracted from distracting myself. It's just an ordinary day and I'm on my way to third period. I take my usual routine and try to make myself as invisible as possible. I grip the ends of my sleeves and purse my lips. I really don't want any strange encounters. My feet feel heavy as I march them down the moderately-empty hallway and I'm already brain-dead due to the numbing classes I had to endure earlier today. And I probably should have gotten more sleep last night.

"AHA! I found you!" and suddenly, a wild-looking albino is in my path, pointing his index finger at me like I'm an animal in a cage. He's got these crazy red eyes and a dumb expression I just can't help but snort. He straightens himself out a little and gives me this huge-ass grin.

"Are you the tomato kid? 'Cuz, damn, I've been looking for you!" He widens his eyes and nods his head, his voice stained with an obnoxious german? accent. I roll my eyes and scoff.

"I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about..." his eyes glint mischievously and his grin deepens. "Oh really? Do you know someone named Antonio?"and then my mind goes BOOM.

Seriously what.

"Yeah, s-so?" I reply, gulping. He claps his hands and strikes a pose.

"Aha! The awesome me has done it again! I've done something... awesome!" he then grabs my shoulders and shoves me down the hallway, the opposite direction of my next class. My brain feels like its boiling and I have a headache already. I'm really getting sick of dealing with idiots every day.

"Stop it. Leave me alone." I say, crossing my arms. He ignores me and continues his steady, ruthless shoving. I try to retaliate, but to my surprise, he's pretty strong. But that's not really saying much, seeing as though I have no muscle at all. Blame it on my laziness.

"Oh yeah! I'm Gilbert." he yells in my ear, causing me to flinch. He- Gilbert- kicks open the door to the gym and before I know it, everyone in the entire gym has their eyes on Gilbert and I. They stare for a couple of moments, the entire room dead silent. The silence causing me to remember a certain incident in a certain hallway with a certain person. There's a small class of about thirty people in the room and they're all doing something with basketballs. Gilbert waves triumphantly and inhales sharply.

"I FOUND HIM GUYS!" he yells. Wow that was way louder than I thought anyone of the human race could ever manage. That yell made me go temporarily deaf. But I'm so confused with what's going on, it wouldn't even matter if I could still hear, I'd still be perplexed as fuck. And in that moment, the entire gym erupts into cries of victory and happiness. And I'm here standing like I missed something really huge.

So then Gilbert is pushing me, once again with brute force, towards the crowd of people. And as luck has it, there's Antonio, smiling like the dumb idiot he is. Choruses of 'what the fuck?' are ringing through my skull as he grabs my hand and we head out of the gym.

"Whaaaaat the fuck?" I squeak, feeling dizzy and kind of euphoric. I dunno that's just how I felt. He giggles, and goddamn if that isn't the sexiest sound I've ever heard. I steady myself against the wall, the cool surface calming me in a way that I can't explain right now.

"Haha! Oh I'm sorry I just couldn't find you and Gil is pretty good- I mean, awesome at that sort of thing so I thought- I thought..." he trails off, gesticulating wildly. "I thought that I'd find you that way." he finishes, his glowing eyes meeting with mine, and sparks erupt from my spine.

"Oh." I say, relieved in a way that I can't explain really. I release my breath shakily and I can feel my heart thump really loudly, mixing unpleasantly with the pounding headache I had also been experiencing. As I start to calm down, my eyes travel to the floor and the silence becomes heavy, tense and- you saw it coming, didn't you- awkward. And as soon as I look up, Antonio is close, really close. Our faces are literally inches apart. I try to back up, but I realise that my back is pushed flush against the wall. His lips turn up mischievously and I (wow is this possible?) feel my pulse pick up even more, the pounding becoming more severe and actually more pleasant. My eyes gaze in his and I feel like maybe I'm downing or maybe I'm just holding my breath. Either way I can't breathe. Close proximity does this to me.

"I have to tell you something..." he says, his voice low and intimate, causing my face to inflame and my mind to go straight to the gutter. He leans his head towards my ear, and I swear I can definitely feel his lips delicately touching the shell of my, probably rose-colored by now, ear.

"I... " he whispers, causing me to shiver uncontrolably.

At that moment, we're interrupted by a high pitched voice. "LOVINO! THERE YOU ARE!" Antonio immediately backs off, trips over his feet, and lands swiftly on his ass. I snap out of my hazy daze and find Bella in front of us, arms crossed with an exasperated expression covering her girly features.

"You're late for class you know!" she says and I nod rapidly. She motions for me to come over, so I comply, quickly stepping over Antonio, who's still on the ground with a semi-embarrassed expression.

She seems to have not noticed Antonio at all. Which is okay I guess. My heart is still pumping incessantly as we slowly make our way back to class. I take deep breaths and try to tame my heartbeat.

"O-oh yeah. Um, I've been meaning to ask you something." she says, tucking her blonde hair behind her ears. We stop in the hallway, and she looks me deep in the eyes. Her eyes are green too, but they don't have the same mesmerizing effect as Antonio's.

"Um, do you wanna go out?" she asks and I blanche. I'm shocked and stuff but I might've saw it coming. Maybe I don't know I'm just a little confused with everything so I can't really sort out my thoughts right now okay. Sorry.

I blink a couple of times and I just stand there, because I have no words. She sighs and smiles weakly. "I- I'll give you a little time to think about it, okay? Just try to get back to me." and then she speeds down the hallway, leaving me there. I cough.

I hear footsteps, so I turn around. It's Antonio with a confused expression. He points in the direction that Bella was last seen, and he tilts his head. "Did she- did she just ask you out?" he muses, a playful smile gracing his lips. I shrug.

"Well yeah, you heard didn't you?" he giggles a little to himself but I can tell that there's something missing from his giggle. I dunno it just sounds a little more empty.

"Well... Speaking of which. I have something to ask you..."

* * *

Okay sorry this is late I had testing this week.

Oh yes, here's a cute pop punk playlist for when you're lonely

1. Therapy - All Time Low

2. Give me one good reason- Blink 182

3. Damned if I do ya (damned if I don't)- All Time Low

4. Young Volcanoes- Fall Out Boy (yeah it's not really pop punk but it's good)

Have a good one, everyone!


	7. Chapter 7

That annoying organ started throbbing again as I stared expectantly. He strode a little closer, small footsteps syncing with the rhythmic beat of my heart, in a sick, musical way. Talk? What would he need to talk to me about? If he really wanted to say something, he could've said it three months ago. I scoffed a little. Three months. What a pathetic little bitch. Pathetic in the sense that he couldn't tell me what he wanted to three months ago. But I guess the same could be said about me as well.

"I…" he faltered, the suspense making my eyes roll. I sighed in exasperation and turned on my heels, immediately heading in the opposite direction. I'm so done with his bullshit, and I'm really late for class. Well, as cliché as it is, it's better late than never. I'm still pissed off though, really pissed off. At least be clear about something if you're going to bring it up. And he's just leading me on to a conclusion that I know will never happen. I start walking faster, my angry thoughts fueling my desire to leave this awkward linoleum hallway.

"Wait! Wait! Just… I don't know how to put this into words." So I waited.

"Better do it now." I said through my teeth. And I still can't ignore my heart.

He took a deep breath and met my eyes. Oh fuck, eyes.

"I… Was wondering what you do in your free time?"

And at that moment I felt my brain snap. Like literally. A switch or something must've gone of because I exploded.

"Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME? So I went through all this stupid shit just so you can ask me that? I'm fucking late for class and I have a ton of shit to deal with and all you ask is about what I do in my free time?" I took a breath, still as angry as before. "You know what, FUCK YOU and what you make me feel." and so I turned around once again and ran as fast as I could. I was so angry my face felt like it was on fire and my ears filtered out every single sound around me. Everything felt numb. Numb and fiery are a weird combination of feelings. By saying 'running as fast as I can', I mean not fast enough to compete with a fucking soccer champion. So soon enough, Antonio caught up with me, roughly halting me by pushing me against the wall (probably some soccer move).

He held tightly on to my shoulders, effectively stopping me from escaping. I was trapped, and I forced myself to stare at the floor. _Don't look at his eyes, don't look at his eyes._

"What do you mean?" he asks. I don't really know what he's thinking because my eyes are glued to the floor so I can't read his expression and his tone of voice really doesn't tell me anything.

"What do _you_ mean?" I reply. He giggles a little and I feel my heart twist.

"What do you mean by what I make you feel?" he rephrases, tilting my jaw so that my eyes meet his. My face heats up as I stare. Oh fucking hell those are really beautiful.

"I… Um…-" his voice overlaps mine.

"Because you make me feel weird too."

I blink a couple of times just to be certain this whole situation is still reality.

"W-wait. Um, what do mou yean?" Ah yet another slip of the tongue. The thing that got me involved with this stupid jerk in the first place. I cover my face in embarrassment.

He laughs a little harder this time, taking deep breaths in an effort to calm himself.

"Oh, man, you're so adorable…." More deep breaths" Oh my God" And More maniacal laughter ensues. " I love you," he adds breathlessly.

I can feel my breath hitch in my throat and my brain hurts. Are my ears working right? Because that's a sentence I've never heard before. I slowly remove my hands from my face.

"W-what?" I reply, my voice shaking very audibly. He grins and takes a deep breath. He lets go of my shoulders and jaw.

"Lovino I think that I love you." he says simply.

And at that moment I forget what my brain wants and go with what my heart? mouth? dick? is telling me.

And so I lean up and kiss him. Shut up, okay. I wasn't thinking straight( haha, no pun intended) and I was just in a state of complete euphoria and relief and- No I am not making excuses. Definitely not.

It wasn't bad, but not really what I expected. Lips are slimy and kind of odd. But they're also soft and sweet. And our noses bumped a lot because I'm not really experienced with this and I wasn't thinking about which way to position my head. No tongue was involved, thankfully, because damn I am not ready for that. But it… it was really nice.

* * *

Abrupt, I know.

Soooo sorry this is late, I had a ton of work and a violin solo.

Hope you like.

By the way I finished the last chapters.

SPRING FEVER!


	8. Chapter 8

We separated, an awkward silence clinging heavily around us. I couldn't even think. My mind was too jumbled to even distract itself. I wiped my sweaty, shaking palms on my jeans and took in a breath. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Antonio picking at his jeans again, avoiding my eyes. Fuck, this is awkward. And, damn, I really don't want to talk about it.

"So, I'm gonna go to class, you can fucking do whatever." Ok, maybe I should just go and never come back. Sounds good. Just ignore the problem. I avoided his gaze and set off down the hall towards a class I didn't even remember the name of. I guess maybe it was the combination of an inflamed face, numb tingly lips and a flustered train of thoughts. And the fact that my heart was running a marathon.

Did I really just do that? I mean, really? I'd always thought of myself as a spineless, grumpy, whiny little bitch. Ehh, maybe it's just my hormones.

'Hormones' is such a gross word. It sounds like a type of medical tool or something. I dunno, it's not really a word that I like. See, here's what I'm talking about. I have to complain about every little thing that goes on in my life. Even just uttering the word 'hormones' makes me angry. And-just- I have no idea what made me kiss Antonio. I can't even make excuses right now.

I made it to my class (I remembered it was Math by the time I got there) and took a seat. My teacher didn't notice me come in, and didn't even flinch at all when I dropped my bag on the ground. I guess being invisible has its high points. And low points, I think as I notice I have no work to do.

As soon as that class ends, I rush out the door. My feet practically trip over themselves as I scramble down the seemingly endless hallway. I head straight for the door at the end of the hall, the door out of this hellhole. I don't care anymore. I'd rather stay home and sort out my problems, than stay here and have to sort them out, possibly, with the source himself.

Just as I'm pushing through the doors, I run into someone.

Fucking really? You again?

I'm getting tired of this.

"Sorry." I mutter as I push past Antonio. He grabs my arm, as expected, and turns me around. I can already feel my face heat up and boil. I roll my eyes.

"I need to go." I mumble as I try to free myself from his grip. He must've been waiting for me or something. It's… it's nice of him.

"No. Can we talk for a minute?" he asks and I shrug. You probably know that I'm uncomfortable facing problems head-on but this was just insane. I felt so embarrassed I wish I hadn't done that. Actually…

"Ok. To make this easy, you can just nod or shake your head." he says gently, and I keep my eyes extremely fixated on the floor.

"First question. You know that I like you, right?"

I nod. And he takes a deep breath, probably to summon courage.

"Ok, um, do you like me?"

I nod quickly.

"Last question. Do you want to be my boyfriend?"

My heart is throbbing louder and stronger than any other time in my life as I nod once again.

"Good." he whispers as he wraps his arms around me in a hug. We stay quiet in a warm embrace for a few seconds, before he pulls away, eyes glittering.

"I just want you to know that I've probably loved you since I saw you."

And so I kiss him again.

* * *

Sorry guys... I'm not even going to make excuses, I'll tell the truth. I was lazy.

Oh and I saw some of my favorite bands live in concert and it was so amazing. And if anyone here knows anything about seeing your favorite bands, you're gonna have killer post-concert depression.

So I had that and I just spent the past month moping around and reminiscing.

Oh and I really recommend listening to Sleepwalking by Bring Me the Horizon along with this chapter.

Warped Tour is almost here I'm sooooo excited.

Oh and there are two chapters left.

Have a good one guys and I'm super sorry.


	9. Chapter 9

This past month proved that Antonio wasn't a bad boyfriend. Despite his annoying and constant need for holding hands and PDA, I actually enjoyed myself. At lunch and after school he would drag me around the whole school, introducing me to his seemingly limitless amount of friends. So by now I've probably had a small conversation with maybe everyone in the school. It's kind of weird to think that a month ago I was lonely. It's like I didn't realize that there were actual people in the school at all. It's not like I actually consider most of the people I met to be my friends, but hey, at least I'm not entirely invisible anymore. And that can be considered either a very, very good thing, or a really, really bad thing.

And occasionally we would meet up in the janitor's closet again and talk and make out and laugh. Nothing more serious than that. I can't really tell what he wants to do most of the time because I think he communicates better through actions. And I just have communication issues in general, so if I ever wanted to take it further than kissing (which might have crossed my mind during an especially blissful make-out session) it would never happen. Cause I'm too fucking embarrassed to ask. If it happens, it happens, I'll just wait it out till then.

"Hey, hey, Lovi guess what?" he asks as we make our way down the hallway. School ended five minutes ago, so we started our routine departure for home. Meaning Antonio waits with me at the bus stop and then leaves when the bus arrives. He literally does it for no reason. His house is in the opposite direction and he sees me pretty much every day. What I'm saying is, I don't understand why he waits with me. I'd rather go home than wait with him at the bus stop. But whatever.

"What?" I reply while sighing. I can see his grin grow larger through my peripheral vision. "So… Today in Biology we had a dissecting lab." he starts. We push through the steel doors leading outside and we clamber down the small set of stairs. "And?" I coax, irritated with his speech patters. He just loves to keep people on the edge with everything he says. What's the word? Suspense. He likes to keep everyone in suspense.

"Aaaaaand. We dissected…" I can hear him giggle a little and I roll my eyes. He straightens himself out and clears his throat in an attempt to shake off his uncontrollable laughter, which always seems to be present in his voice. "WHAT? What the hell did you dissect?" I ask. Seriously, hurry up Antonio.

"Ok, ok. We dissected a... TOMATO." he bursts into giggles and drops his textbook in the process. It's just what I expected. Another tomato finding it's way into our conversation. It seems to happen more and more as our time together progresses. I pick up his textbook for him as he clutches his stomach, spurts of giggles still erupting from his lips.

"Antonio, let's go." I pat him on the back and he straightens up. It's a short walk to the bus stop, more or less two minutes, but it's a complete two minutes of silence. Those two minutes give me time to think. Like, why am I even with Antonio? We literally have nothing in common. Well, except for our weird love for tomatoes of course. Sure, I think Antonio's hot and he's really nice I just. I just haven't really felt insane sparks or crazy-in-love kind of feelings. I don't know. Anyway, it's stupid. I'll stop now.

We reach the bus stop, which is empty save for some girl who's poking at her iPhone about five feet away. It's awkward. Really awkward. I hope that bus comes soon.

I summon up as much courage as I can.

"Hey, Antonio?" he perks up a little, his lips curving up into a small smile. I guess he's relieved that the awkward silence is over, too.

"Why, exactly, do you- do you like me?" he opens his mouth, but his words get caught in his throat. He does this a couple of times before his face scrunches up in thought. I fill in the silence once again.

"I mean, I'm boring, weird and awkward. I'm perpetually irritated with everyone and everything, and I can't talk for shit. I'm pessimistic, I swear a lot and I tell crude jokes. I mean, what the hell is there to like about me?" this just causes him to laugh. And once again, he drops his textbook and clutches his chest as if I told another tomato joke. I roll my eyes and cross my arms. Hey, that took a lot of courage, it's kind of sad to have all of it be dismissed in one second.

He coughs a couple of times and smiles. "Lovino, I like you because you're you. Even though you think you're boring and weird, I like that about you. I like pretty much everything you just said about yourself, because it's what makes you who you are, and I don't want anything less than that. Plus, I don't think I could ever date someone's who's as positive as I am, it'd be too weird." he ruffles my hair a bit. "Also, your awkwardness is probably my favorite thing about you, okay? Don't worry." I can feel my face heat up past my ears and I pray for the bus to come.

It eventually does, and I feel sad seeing him disappear as I board the bus.

* * *

I had to rewrite this a lot because I was just never satisfied with it. I'm still not too happy, but whatever.

Oh! I went to Warped Tour two days ago! It was amazing. I had the time of my life and I got a poster signed by a band I love, blessthefall.

I really recommend going if there are any music junkies out there reading this.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, there's only one more to go!


End file.
